Thursday, November 5, 2009

Showing Up/Paintings turned Studies

It's been a while since blogging. Sounds like a pattern. This week has been rough. Not too different from any practice that you lapse out of. This summer I've been busy moving and traveling. Meeting incredible artists that I can really listen to about art. Yeah, the good things... still transitioning with a rearranged life. My therapist says "so much change"'s not pretty but I keep showing up and things are better. If only I could cut myself some slack.

I have shown up in the Studio this week -- Tues, Wed and today -- doing a 4am - 4pm. I taught my Encaustic class on Monday. This week I knew I had to start again and kickass or suffer through a longer period of reviving the juju. This 4am thing has been my routine for the past 5 years.

Stretching my range as a painter is invigorating and frustrating at the same time, but I know it's right. The new body of work began in February and seems to be taking forever. I see now the work evolves and goes forward even when you can't see or feel it happening. Sometimes it takes a while to take it in. I can really say I like my work now and require less distance when the painting is done.

4 paintings are now 'studies'. Not intentional but yet another process that moves you along.

The grid began tight and more hardedged this year. The labor and physicality of working with wax, increasing the scale and meticulously isolating acrylic & wax has been a real high for me. oh yea, 'control'...

Something shifted when viewing the new paintings turned 'studies'. I saw several paintings in a painting. The tightness of the work began to feel overwhelming on several levels. Like my life -- too much of too much... reality -- lots of losses. So much I can't even write about it yet. People freak out when you tell them how bad it's been.

I'm investigating what I call the "driver" inside of me. The thing that wakes me up at 4am and signals me that painting is what I have to do. So there, I blogged. I have some shots to share on what a day like today turned out to be. Friends think it's glamourous to be an artist. It's not. I'm not bitter, just tired.


  1. Cyndy, just showing up is way more than half the battle. I empathize just a little when it comes to changing physical surroundings. That's huge in itself. My heart goes out to you with whatever else is piled on top of that!

    I love reading about your process and new direction. When I say love reading, I mean that this should be a book. Seriously!


  2. M -- you are a gem! Yes, the change in yet another Studio has been challenging and yet, on the up side, interesting on how it affects the work. Thanks for your big heart and support! You inspire me with your daily Artist Journal and I am goin to get back to the blog each day (like i used to -- imagine that!) We'll see about a book and back to you on that one too! hug ya back! C

  3. Cyndy - I think you might be right about there being several paintings in each one - I'm going through the same thing right now... If you blew up any quadrant or smaller section to a larger scale it could be even more powerful!

    Martha is right about showing up...

    Sorry about the losses... I know you will prevail and move ahead.

    Now you've shamed me into updating my blog which I should re-title "Few and Far Between"!


  4. Robert,
    Thanks for the feedback --- I am not alone! and i was thinking of the exact word, "quadrant" too! yes, working it out on larger scale right now and it's hard work!

    Well, your NY show truly demonstrates what you're talking Mark's blog -- here's a slice of it --

    ..."suite of small works -- a brilliant example of taking control of the issues, not of size, but of scale".

    it is time to update your blog! i'll be linking to you as i get back to this good ritual of blogging and remembering how to navigate around bloggersphere again....

    thanks for your good's working!

    xx - Cyndy

  5. Cyndy, the very fact that you're going in at 4 am is incredible. Showing up to make work, -and sometimes letting the work lead you, is crucial. As I've said many times on my blog, time in the studio is never wasted time.

    Keep going!


  6. Rico -- nice to see you here! thanks for blowing some wind on my back! 4am is when everything is so still and quiet. that's right -- time in the studio is showing up even if i'm sweeping, repainting the studio door or just sitting there looking at the work. the work is definitely the juice that can make unnecessary distractions melt away! I'll be back to your blog to read again as you shared many things that I resonate with.

    sending the mojo back at 'cha!

    xx - Cyndy