Haven't you heard your creative mind covering up your inadequacies -- the ones that you continue to ignore and pacify --or...are you maybe stuck on the same thread that's at the end of it's line? A painting you want to make that you can see so clearly in your mind but maybe it's too much of a risk?
In the studio, we have these conversations a lot and sometimes, if we're lucky, we have a solid "you can trust in your studio" fellow painter to banter around these thoughts with. Someone you can tell instead of having to hear it by yourself while going another day either loving or hating your aloneness inside the studio.
Recently, I've been surrendering to my frustrations and facing my working with new materials straight-on. Maybe this slow time of year supports this inward contemplative nature in me. By giving into this and dealing with myself, I have been slowly figuring out my technical problems one at a time. So, don't lie to yourself about whatever it is that you can't do. Dealing with developing your work and technical skills creates feelings of a setback on various levels. It makes you feel too many bad things that sometimes constellate into that dreaded downward spiral. What can you do??? Stay focused and even self-centered in order to stay in the state of absorption to carry you towards the results you're after.
I tend to wait too long before making a change (in and outside of the studio)... try to get to the truth early...and the next successful painting will be waiting for you. Easy to say -- hard to do. Dealing with and accepting the problem you might be facing gives you an opportunity to 'fix it'. This takes much patience, being diligent, staying on track, slowing down and... the "D" words -- Dealing, Developing and Discipline (in some cases Divorce -- just kidding).
While opening up and stretching my visual vocabulary through working tediously with materials and techniques, I am glad I did. New work is developing off this new mindset. The hassels of going back and forth with materials is paying off. I love the technical aspects of materials and am proud of being a good technician. So, deal with yourself if you want to push beyond your current plateau. Get over yourself, work hard and you'll be pleasantly absorbed once again.
If there's something you want to do...it is all about the matter of putting in the time to develop the ability to do it!
As we give fully, unafraid to let others
know the truth about ourselves, we receive
unexpected rewards from unexpected sources.
__Helene Lerner-Robbins, writer
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