"How Do You Studio?"

Encaustic Brushes

Encaustic Paints

I often wonder what other painters do when they are in the studio -- how you get your day started, what distracts you and what do you do to get back to work. Wherever your studio it makes a difference in what you do to show up and get working. 



My last studio was in 1 of my 3 car garages with views to a large yard, 2 doors (1 to the yard and the other to the laundry room) and short steps away from my kitchen. Now, I work in my apartment, facing a large deck and too close to the kitchen!

In my daily routine, I usually like to be inside the studio by 9:30am. I require a lot of structure to my day if I plan to be productive and I know being a "Mom" gives me the edge on 'time management'. There's quite a bit of awareness of time and what day of the week it is as my teenager has a varied schedule from week to week. Also, being a single Mom adds more of everything including scheduling/communication with the co-parent. And...  my style of mothering is  a mixture of the "empathetic"/"responsive" & "always look good" Mom-- navigating a crucial time in my interactions with her as we're both reaching for new growth.  And, an Aspie teen can make your brain feel like it's being put through a vice!  The wonderful part is that she is a lovely girl and pursuing an artists' life.   Livvy is extremely talented and we  believe  other mentors are out there for her!

I enjoy waking up very early (honestly -- I don't think I have a choice, it's how I roll these days). At the previous Art Island Studio location, I used to bolt out of bed by 4am and be in the studio at 4:30am before carpooling my daughter to school at 7am (bad commute in those days but now, she is just blocks away). These days, I wake up early and either meditate, journal or get on YouTube to listen to music while checking Facebook and reading the NYTimes online. Music is a very large part of my life and has been since I was very young. My parents played music the moment they were up and all through the day. I have kept this a part of my life ever since. So, Facebook friends know I like to link music to my posts every morning. It's something that I randomly feel drawn to at the moment -- you know, that free-spirit thing. Usually tunes that give me energy to want to move and dance. A Facebook friend that I met for the first time at his SF opening said upon greeting me, "You're the wild girl! Every morning your high energy comes through my computer screen"! I guess I'm a morning person! But, I'm also a nite owl too...

After a quick morning shower with Coffee waiting on my sink and YouTube, I throw on my makeup (never leave the house without it!) studio pigtails and comfy painting ensemble. I know I could paint in my pajamas but I have to get dressed like I'm going to work. I feel more alive and awake this way. And, don't forget the key accessory -- your favorite studio shoes!

The cats get fed, the apartment gets opened up to let all the light in, beds get made, daughter dropped off to school, dishwasher gets emptied, laundry gets started or finished, and I select music for the big speakers. Another check on Facebook and then I "log off" before I get too sucked into cyberspace. I hate doing errands and usually minimize them to one day per week and never do them on the weekends (usually teaching/ demos at the Art Store).

When I'm inside the studio by 9:30am I'm very happy.  Coffee nearby, music and my phones. Since the iPhone, I leave the Mac logged off and screen my incoming calls. I find that I don't work as deeply when I'm on FB and trying to paint--removing gloves to click on Facebook's 'red notification dot' easily sucks me into  network socializing! 


Here are some additional distractions that keep me from making paintings:

1. Surfing YouTube on the big screen desktop in the living room for new music.

2. Flipping through magazines and paperwork/rearranging bookshelf.

3. Opening the refridgerator more than 5 times an hour.

4. Talking to the cats and grooming them.

5. Start preparing dinner at noon. (working at home screams domestic duties!)

6. Decide to change my hair color.

7. Tidy up my daughter's room.

8. Get the car washed.

9. Snacking over the kitchen sink.

10. Thank god no more TV!

So that's what happens with me living with generalized anxiety, coffee and raising a teen (not just any teen but one with Asperger's)! ... becoming aware of the distractions cultivates discipline and focus.  This practice allows me to call on it when I need it. Not just in the studio but also when I have to deal with non-art making related deadlines, i.e. -- prepping for a class, parent-teacher conferences, and paying bills.

I bring myself back around again and again....sometimes I wind up taking a longer loop --   a day or two before I can really settle in and paint. Life situations and stress are among just a few of the factors that interfere with being productive in life and in the studio.  Sometimes it's too easy to get uptight when we don't feel we're being productive enough or making good enough work.  I want to remember to have fun!  


Here's a page from "Art & Fear"  --

MAGIC

"There's a myth among amateurs, optimists and

fools that beyond a certain level of achievement,

famous artists retire to some kind of Elysium where

criticism no longer wounds and work materializes

without their effort.

             -Mark Matousek

"Buying into magic leaves you feeling less capable each time another artist's qualities are praised.  So if a critic praises Nabokov's obsession with wordplay, you begin to worry that you can't even spell "obsession".  Besides, if artists share any common view of magic, it is probably the fatalistic suspicion that when their own art turns out well, it's a fluke -- but when it turns out poorly, it's an omen."

Today I had a very productive day since before the holidays. As I mentioned, I changed mediums recently to see what would happen. Painting in Acrylics and leaving wax alone for a while. It's been a short while...

Well, I reset the studio this weekend for painting with Encaustic again to make some small paintings for a group show next month. I had these panels that were the right dimensions and returned to a composition and palette that I began for the NY Small Works Show - Washington Square East Galleries in 2008. There's something very satisfying in returning to an old thread that you left unfinished.

I thought for a day about resetting the studio for wax. It's not a simple thing even if I still had the big ass studio. Getting over the resistance creates breakthroughs.  I ran into cool materials i forgot I had! Now that times are lean, I can appreciate the days when money was really flowing... I am lucky I had that period (which will come back again)  when I really stocked up on so much --  I'm grateful for how it's carrying me through.


Thanks for hanging with this long post.  I'd like to hear about "how you studio" and what helps to bring you back around as well as the things that you do to distract from making work.  

Here's the process that began on Sunday through these snaps:

Encaustic 
Going back into the work
6"x 6" floating wood panels

Risking has to be done
Setting up a Wax Pour
Encaustic Paintings Ready!
Leveling Painting
Masking edges at 1/8"

After the Pour
Unmasking the edges
Cooling down

Cooled Down

More Fusing 
More Leveling to do

"Artfully Helping Haiti"

As a past member of "IEATA" (International Expressive Arts Therapy Association) I am happy to create and offer my experience to "Artfully Helping Haiti" through creative art processes for personal and community transformation in coping and doing something active to aid in this devastating tragedy impacting the people of Haiti. There are many ways to offer support and this is one of them where you can join others in your community in coming together and giving from the heart through art. I really hope you'll join me and others who want to make a difference through the process of artmaking.

I am thankful to Bente Mirow at Rileystreet Art -San Rafael, for responding to my idea and making this event possible so quickly. Please pass this information forward & let your friends know!

You can find the event listing in todays

Marin IJ's "Events Calendar" under "Art"

Here's the link:

http://events.marinij.com/san-rafael-ca/events/show/96658365-painting-for-haiti-relief

"PAINTING FOR HAITI RELIEF”

Please Join

CYNDY GOLDMAN at Rileystreet Art

January 21 – Thursday

1-3pm

Tuesday afternoon, January 12th, the worst earthquake in 200 years - 7.0 in magnitude - struck less than ten miles from the Caribbean city of Port-au-Prince, Haiti. The initial quake was later followed by twelve aftershocks greater than magnitude 5.0. Structures of all kinds were damaged or collapsed, from shantytown homes to national landmarks. It is still very early in the recovery effort, but millions are likely displaced, and thousands are feared dead as rescue teams from all over the world are now descending on Haiti to help where they are able.

All materials & Instructor assistance included! Acrylics, Tempura, Wax, Collage, Image Transfers & more! Please join me at Rileystreet Art! Get involved!

We will paint Haitian style! Brilliant & vibrant colors – reds, blues, (colors of the Haitian flag) yellows,greens, magenta...This is the influence but you will be encouraged to create what is important to you!

No art experience is necessary & adults and children of all ages are welcome!

All proceeds of your *$50/per person/child donation will go directly to “Doctors Without Borders”. By raising funds for Doctors Without Borders, you help their medical teams deliver emergency assistance to people affected by armed conflicts, epidemics,natural and man made disasters.

Your Donation: All monetary donations are tax deductible and “Doctors Without Borders” will send out a letter of acknowledgment for all contributions.

Look forward to seeing you!

Please register & reserve your spot as soon as possible by emailing

Cyndy Goldman at sassypainter@yahoo.com or calling me at 415- 806 -5103

Rileystreet Art is located at :

1138 4^th Street, San Rafael, CA

Store Phone: 415-457-2787

See you this Thursday - 1pm! ~Cyndy~

Domesticating the Block

When you're in the process of taking new direction with your work have you found yourself making many messes (small & large) before actually painting? Lately, I have spent many random studio days adjusting to internal and external blocks before getting down to actually painting today. As I follow the days leading up to now, it's been a lot of settling down with a new way of approaching my work. There's a lot more wait time and the physicality of the fast-paced working rhythm is now giving way to spaciousness. New ideas and becoming more patient are beginning to surface.

I started a small format series of paintings I'm calling the "Poly Chromatic Group". Above are the in-progress pieces and one of many methodical but messy studio sessions. (I'm slowly warming up to saying "yes" to selling a group of 25 pieces to a local modern/contemporary furniture store).

Normally my studio sessions are highly productive, knowing exactly what I'm doing and where I'm going. I have spent many days this new year continuing to be patient with myself working with the materials. It's all there (just no Wax). Everything I need. No running out for anything! Therefore, the lull in the pace feels like a block right now.

Since I no longer have my separate custom-built studio with all that great stuff that blows my skirt--- I really miss the view, sweeping, rearranging, shop vac-ing, and the meditative opportunity to paint 2 studio doors over and over. Whatever it takes to unblock, right? Always good to keep moving. Those familar movements trigger the start button. Now, the movements are small and it's just me and the table. How intimate is that? Downsizing adds a test to your committment to this life.

Studio time today began cruising when I started making firm decisions and sticking to them. It's a fine line between planning and then letting yourself go. I believe more happy accidents occur when you are in this zone. The more chances I took in paint mixing and handling, the happier I felt. The risk really isn't that great afterall because everything is in flux while you're making a painting. These blocks that arrest our progress come and go and I believe that creating good productive studio practices takes a long time.

I noticed a simultaneous start & stall period. Everything I like to do before starting is ready and then I stop. I should back up a bit here and confess something that speaks to this possible stall. Right around the holidays (stressful busy time) I felt compelled to 'just do it' and get in some studio time. I was rebelling against the feelings of obligation, torn between the good mother, awesome daughter, and fabulous friend in doing my holiday share. (familiar cycle every year -- trying to resist the holiday madness). So what did I do? I went absolutely wild and poured buckets of paint on 5 large museum quality, 2-3/8 deep canvases (36"x36")! Not 'just' paint but "Black" paint! (Oh boy -- painting alla gestalt ... I anxiously wait for my shrink to return from her extended vacation at the end of the month).

Well, each session took me a little further but I have to admit that at the end of each one, I felt very discouraged, blocked and unsatisfied. You know what it's like to be in the 'zone' and things are humming. And, you just want that (besides all the other sucesses)! Developing a way to work when you have to work is something I notice with successful painters. The ability to keep your mind focused and elminate the outside influences that interfere with painting is a discipline.

An upsetting incident with someone can ruminate in your mind but can you put that aside while you're in the studio? I've been putting this practice to use for a while now and find it a great help when you need it.

Wouldn't it be crazy/nice to imagine a crisis hot line when you need it -- just for painters? Maybe we wouldn't have to go through as much depression, doubt and angst. I know, it's not just about painting. There are many other issues we as artists struggle with. As my friend in art tells me, "You've got to be a Lifer"!

In order to be a 'lifer' in the arts, I hear the same response from all successful artists -- "keep showing up". Sometimes when you just want to crawl into a cave and hide, it's really the best time to stay "out". I know this sounds wrong and undermines your internal meter, but each time we take a new uncomfortable step outside the comfort zone, we begin to navigate new ground, and learn how to measure risk with gain. This is something I'm learning. Instead of retreating so far back, I'm beginning to tread longer in the unfamiliar spaces. This way, the needed return can manifest more easily and create less of a struggle.

The cycle is always our cycle. Even when it seems like we're stuck and can't see the next step, it always returns. And, it usually brings something new and exciting. Isn't that what keeps us going?

It would be vain to try to put into words that immeasurable
sense of bliss which comes over me directly (when) a new idea
awakens in me and begins to assume a definite form.
I forget everything and behave like a madman.

_Pyotr Ilich Tchaikovsky

Process & Chronology

Early 2009


During the last few days of 2009 I made a conscious effort of catching up with reading, reviewing my work, thinking, looking and listening. I haven't painted much since my last post. Having a free week alone (daughter away on vacation) I enjoyed a mini retreat at home. It's been a long while since I've experienced such a calm period in my life. The holidays were jam-packed with wondrous events with family and friends filling up all my time. I realize I am just as outgoing as I am an introvert. Spending time alone outside the Studio without responsibilities for anyone else but myself is more fabulous than I ever remembered.

At the end of every year I like to take time out from the outter world and contemplate the year. I find it a profound practice in my daily life and also a gracious way to cycle into the new year. 2009 has been extremely busy in and out of the Studio. Integrating it all is a process and something that will continue to percolate into 2010.

Another year of painting, therefore, new work to look at, contemplate and study where you're going... Following the thread of your work, noticing the 'bridge' pieces, working from one place to another, break-through paintings, works on paper...noticing the chronology of your work. Yes! I am excited. Wouldn't it be nice to have all your work before you at once. I can still see them all in my mind as I visualize myself digging through 3 computer photo galleries... old press kits, postcards, portfolios, CD's. While we're at it can we burn all the artists statements we find.

I am happy to be in a place of enjoying my work and how things are coming along. There are cycles of depression and doubt-- but, taking the time to understand your process and knowing yourself deeply in relation to your work can bring you the medicine you need. My end of the year ritual helped me slow down and recognize the various threads and bridge pieces in my work (materials as well as content). Something is coming back around.

My 10-year relationship with the Art Therapy profession began in 1995 and I'm pretty interested in looking at my works on paper which were created from a therapeutic process-orientation. From what I remember, chaotic graphite circles and grids appeared frequently at that time. In my work, the geometric theme has always been present. Whatever it means, I find great relief in knowing this. Facilitating Expressive Arts groups was all about "Process". That's what brought me back to art -- the process instead of a BFA.

I have kept a pretty rigorous Studio practice for the past 4 years (excluding 2008 as the year from hell). It took me 3 years to establish a steady 5-day/30hr+ week. So, when I stopped for an entire year in 2008, I never imagined coming back. If you trust in the process, it brings you back from wherever you had to go. When we are able to soften our grip on the controls and relax, the essential movement finds its way to organic and unexpected outcomes.

When I am not in the Studio, I am always engaged with my work on some level. Today was the day to begin a new Studio notebook only to end up not finding an empty one. As what often happens, I found stacks of old ones and leafing through them found a chronology of thoughts and ideas that still hold a lot of juice. So, if you notice paintings stacked face-t0-face and back-to-back in your Studio or in storage, maybe it's time to get into the tunnel and take a journey to find out where you've been and where you'd like to be this year. Brace yourselves, I think it's going to be another year of digging in and keeping your eye on the prize (from my friend in art).

being with real people who warm us,
who endorse and exhault our creativity,
is essential to the flow of the creative life.
otherwise we freeze......when women are out in the
cold, they tend to live on fantasies instead of action.

__Clarissa Pinkola Estes
Jungian Analyst & Writer

"Pickup After Risk"

"Pulse"
36"x36"
Acrylic on Canvas

"Metronome"
36"x36"
Acrylic on Canvas


Last month I gave in to the urge to explore painting without a very charged medium -- "wax" (encaustic/beeswax-pigments-resin). Things in the studio were very slow at first but eventually picked up like I predicted. But, the waiting is sometimes unnerving after a period of rapidly churning out painting after painting.



In the pursuit of searching for the true 'driver' in my work, I interrupted the comfortable rhythm of my studio practice. The dreaded but necessary "painter's block" came as a result of eliminating the process of managing hot palettes, pigments, resin, heat guns, torches, and safety issues. This large self-imposed gap forced me to adapt and go deeper. I was questioning the "why of wax"?



Why would I want to change materials after years of responding to it and dedicating the work to this challenging and rewarding medium? It seems the work is asking me to look for something that I am missing. In my self-investigation of the work of the last 5 years, there is something very interesting to me about it. The grid and hard edge was always the starting point for my work. But possibly due to my lack of exposure to like-minded painters, or responding directly to the medium itself, I unconsciously buried this in my paintings for years -- excavating layers and layers of wax trying to uncover the grid. Here, the response may have been to the medium instead of the medium providing the visual language? This is why I refer to Encaustic as a 'charged' medium. In the past 6 months the geometric abstraction and hard edge is more and more visible, the palette more complex as well as the engagement with a more complex composition.



These two new paintings, "Metronome" and "Pulse" came after a few weeks of playing around with another kind of paint, canvas over panel, color, and format. The simplification in this new process with minimal tools and more economical materials is freeing. This thought takes me back to the AbEx painters and their following a less conventional and more economical means to making art -- Pollack pouring house paints, and Jasper Johns' use of wax and newspapers.



Your familiar materials and comfort zone can limit your voice--affecting your work as a result. So, when new materials appear, or in my case, simplified, it translates to new possibilities when the work demands something -- knocking hard. Letting go of bits of familiar materials and experimenting at mid-point really undermines studio rituals including your judgements of where you think you should be.



As a painter, responding to the work is very necessary to my process even when it asks for a very uncomfortable change. And, when you can, it takes you hopefully where you need to be. The uncertainty and unpredictability of making art forces you to risk and want to believe it broadens your ability to make and find what you're looking for. I'm hanging with this and ready to start on a new painting tomorrow.